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...the Bible tells me so:
A Question of Spanking
Child abuse is a
significant problem in our society today. It takes many forms, sexual, physical
and emotional.
However, let’s not “throw out the baby with the bath water.” I hope, in this article, to find a measure of balance in the discussion of disciplining children. I believe that corporeal punishment can be appropriate for younger children in order to correct their behavior and to adjust their attitudes. Specifically, child raising is child “rear”ing. Spanking a child’s behind can be most appropriate to rectify bad conduct.
Because this article takes a politically incorrect position on spanking, please be sure that you understand what I am saying. I promote a limited number of spanks on the padded portion of a child’s behind to be used for discipline. Any other conclusion misrepresents what I teach.
Dr. Benjamin Spock created a revolution for the Baby Boomer Generation. His advice on child rearing to the World War II Generation contained a revolutionary element, no spankings.
When my wife and
I considered foster parenting, among many things, we looked at the policy
concerning spankings.
In spite of what
was legal, many foster training parent meetings in
We turned down the
opportunity to become foster parents in
In this discussion, there is no room for barnyard scripture. While “Spare the rod and spoil the child” may accurately reflect God’s teaching on discipline, we need to go back to what God actually said (see Proverbs 13:24).
The book of Proverbs is God’s instruction manual for raising responsible children. The central verse becomes chapter 22:6: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (NIV). You train a child by guiding their direction and values in life, by showing them the difference between right and wrong, and by giving them limits against doing wrong and giving them room to do right.
Training includes discipline and punishment. “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him” (13:24). “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him” (22:15). “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death” (23:13-14). “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (29:15; see 15:5; 19:18; 29:17).
In ancient
When I was growing up, the rod was the “board of education.” For my wife, it was the peach tree switch. For our boys, it was “Big Frank,” a twelve inch, all wood ruler. A well-placed sting on the padded backside taught many a lesson and quickly changed attitudes. We all learned to do right and to respect our parents.
Do I believe that parents may beat their children up one side and down the other? Of course, not! I like the answer that educator and comedian Bill Cosby gave years ago to Phil Donahue, talk show host.
Cosby related how he took his son to the shed out back because the son had lied to him. Cosby carried on about not whipping him and how it is wrong to lie. After the lecture was over, when Cosby’s son turned to leave, he whipped him. There was disbelief on his son’s face, knowing that his father lied to him. Cosby’s lesson to his son was lying hurts those you love.
Donahue jumped on Cosby’s words saying that he had given every child abuser permission to beat their children.
Cosby answered that when he gave his son car keys, he did not give him permission to drive up the street sideswiping every car on both sides. Instead, he gave his son permission to drive responsibly. Parents must act responsibly when they discipline their children.
The apostle Paul’s instruction in raising children is very appropriate, especially directed to us fathers. Paul wrote, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), and “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). Any discipline that leaves children exasperated, bitterly angry or discouraged must be abandoned. Any discipline must teach our children to love the Lord.
Finally, Paul has some instructions for children, too. He said, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth’ ” (Ephesians 6:1-3; quoting the Fifth Commandment [Exodus 20:12]).
Childhood is the most vulnerable time of life. Too many of our children die or are injured because of the wrong choices that they make. The child darting across the street, the automobile wreck, and suicide attempt can have fatal consequences. Yet, in general, those children who are taught to stay away from alcohol and other drugs, who learn what makes for good friends and wholesome activities, who honor their parents’ guidance and discipline, live long lives.
Maybe we all need to follow another Spock, the Vulcan science officer from the original “Star Trek” series. His greeting was always “Live long and prosper.” I encourage our young people to live long and prosper by obeying their parents.
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